East Meets West: The Gaijin Girl at Haruka's Wedding

Haruka-san and I before the ceremony.

grace and elegance

under a shimmering veil

wed merry friends.

Last month, I was fortunate enough to return to Japan. I was ecstatic to be able to attend my friend, Haruka-san's wedding. A month ago, she invited me via email and fantastically, everything fell into place so that I could take three days off of work to go.

For the ceremony, I wore a kimono borrowed from her mother. According to what little Japanese I could understand and what little English, Haruka's father could speak, nobody had worn this retro-print kimono since before her mother was married. I'll admit, when I first spotted this lime green and orange robe on the hanger, I was skeptical of what I had gotten myself into. Once on though, the bright colors may have actually helped me look less translucent. 

The ceremony took place in the atrium of a elegant hotel. A wall of glass beads surrounded the wedding party making it feel as if we were in a chandelier. Because Haruka-san and her non-husband, Ohara-sensei, opted for a Western style wedding, the ceremony only lasted about thirty minutes. The couple exchanged vows, lit a candle and signed a very large book while guests snapped photos from every different angle.  

While the ceremony was not a traditional Shinto ceremony, female family and friends who had a close relationship with the bride or groom wore kimono. I hadn't realized that there were meanings behind the colors women wear. As it was explained to me, older women, like Haruka-san's mother and grandmother wear black kimono; married women wear pastel colored kimono; and unmarried women wear bright colored kimono. Thus, once Haruka's mother married, she could no longer wear the kimono that she loaned me. 

 After the ceremony concluded, the guests and wedding party proceeded to a large banquet hall on the second floor for a reception. The party was full of fun surprises. There was wedding cake. The bride and groom changed into traditional dress for the second half of the reception. And, the groom's friends performed a very (for me) unexpected dance while wearing high school uniform skirts. I can only guess that it was a joke in reference to both the bride and groom being high school teachers.

The most intense experience though was wearing a kimono for five hours. My heals hung off the back of her mother's slippers. This and the layers of binding made it impossible for me to walk in a respectable manner. The layers of binding felt a little like I had knotted a really wide belt too tight around my waist and then for kicks, knotted another one around my knees. All I could do was hobble from seat to seat and hope that I didn't fall face forward. Luckily, my friend Komatsu-sensei (pictured on the left in the photos above), a Japanese literature teacher from Wajima high school, accompanied me as I stumbled around.

The constraining costume made eating the six course dinner, complete with two desserts, a chore. In addition to the tightness, my sleeves seemed to drag on the ground any time I lifted my fork to my mouth. The Japanese women had a special way of tucking the sleeves into their lap that made them look quite elegant. In my five hour kimono experience, I did not master this skill.

Overall, it was lovely to be back in Japan and on vacation. In the midst of dealing with stress and pressure from my new job in Korea, it was a relief to return to a place that felt like home and to hang out with and support old friends. During the three days that I was in town I saw most of my friends who are still living in Japan and indulged in most of my favorites: kaiten-sushi, Go-Go curry,  yakisoba and indoor soccer with friends.

I hope this post finds everyone doing well and enjoying a beautiful spring.