I started this post a week ago:
Let's start with last night. The Mukade Night. I was just about ready to go to bed when this nasty nightmare crawled up from my tatami.
Not having a hammer or anything useful within reach, I hopped around my room grabbing for anything that might stop/slow down the monster. He made it back under my tatami in about 5 seconds, leaving me to sit with a shoe, pot, and bleach awaiting his reappearance.
As I crouched in the center of my room and described every detail to a friend in South Korea on gchat, I was just glad to have someone "there." Realizing how ridiculously I was overreacting, I decided my futon was probably safe to sit on while waiting. Ummm, NO! Its thousands of legs propelled it from underneath the futon and it made a dash for my sliding door. He made it underneath and I quickly pulled the door back, thus partially crushing him between the floor and the wheel.
Grabbing my computer, I updated my friend on the latest developments. He suggested that I cut off it's head, so I scrambled around the kitchen and returned with my largest but very dull knife. I won't go into the details, but the monster was coated in a steel-armored shell. Once I decapitated him though, I moved both parts of the body into a pot and flushed him down the toilet. Note: Both parts were wriggling this entire time.
Skyping Maggie in Kanazawa, we decided that this was probably the worst thing yet to happen in my apartment, beating out the tatami ticks, mold, mildew, dirty predecessor, and an oil fire. A week later I bought a bed, and it will be delivered and set up in another week. Maybe I will finally turn off the lights to sleep.
No comments:
Post a Comment